I have always been a generally happy person but when I get really upset I go all out. One of my early memories (from when we still lived in MI) is of me lying on my bed crying talking to my fish (Swimmy) telling him that no one loved me and everyone hated me. I was probably being punished for something. Speaking of punishment. My next memory is of me when we lived in town here. I got in trouble for something and was sent to my room. I had this table that the legs screwed off of and I took on e of those and beat my closet door with it, while screaming and yelling. I dented the door pretty well. After that house we lived out in the country for quite a few years, those were happy years. When I was in 8^th grade we moved back into town were we live now. After school it was me Katie and Charlie at home. Katie can be very aggravating. I remember yelling and screaming at her to get her to stop something she was doing. The rest of high school was fairly calm for me. When I got to college my first semester, I got really depressed and homesick. It got to the point that I was almost anorexic. Second semester was a little better but all my friends were dating and I felt a little left out. I didn’t want to date but everyone gave me pitying looks and was always asking me if I was ok. It got really annoying (different rant). That summer was fun then when we got back here I was kinda-ish ready to date but no one seemed interested except Brian but we were just friends and I didn’t want to like him. I got homesick again and almost lost it. I never went anorexic again but I almost cut myself one time. It scared me so bad that I had even thought of doing that. After that I was better for awhile then over fall break I couldn’t deny that I liked Brian any more, which kinda messed things up even more because I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t do my normal super flirt thing because he had a GF. So I just kinda sat there to see what would happen. Then he asked me out and everything has been happy-ish since then. I really don’t know what would have happened if it weren’t for him.

he is the sort of person that would take that and say that all this happened before we were dating so if he breaks up with me i'll go back to that... which i wont cause most of that was over before he asked me out (except the whole me not knowing what to do about him thing)... i dont want him to feel like he has to stay with me to protect me from myself....

ok that got really long.. i just had to put it out there...

me